For english-speaking: need for advice

[i16stealth]

Are there any mistakes in the following phrases:

Naturally, it was much more interesting for Polikarpov to work on the project in the perspective of a modern monoplane.

The matter is that Polikarpov had purposefully displaced the back center of gravity to improve maneuverability, so worsening stability

The first Chinese division, equipped with "Ishak", was IV tatui, which left their "Hawks-III" and were handed over in Lanchow new I-16s type 5

From then on, China was included in the lend-lease program for the allied countries

[scotty]

It's pretty darn good..

I would only counsel changing a couple of things to make it sound better.

Perhaps replace:

The matter is that Polikarpov had purposefully displaced the back center of gravity to improve maneuverability, so worsening stability

with:

The matter is that Polikarpov had purposefully displaced the center of gravity rearwards to improve maneuverability, so worsening stability

and replace:

The first Chinese division, equipped with "Ishak", was IV tatui, which left their "Hawks-III" and were handed over in Lanchow new I-16s type 5

with:

The first Chinese division, equipped with "Ishak", was IV tatui, which left their "Hawks-III" and were handed over new I-16s type 5 in Lanchow

But that's maybe's me being picky..

[bearoutwest]

What you've written reads quite correctly. It's difficult to make any changes without knowing what other sentences go with those ideas, but here's a couple of more suggestions:

(1)
The use of “Naturally” and “more interesting” in the first sentence would depend on the other sentences in the paragraph, and the idea you were trying to describe. If you were trying to say that Polikarpov wanted to work on monoplanes because he thought it was the technological way forward, you could also simply write it as:

Polikarpov had greater interest in working on the project, which dealt with a modern and more technologically advanced monoplane.

(2)
Again, the use of “The matter is that” depends on the other sentences and the idea. Like the previous post suggested, you could also simple write it as:

Polikarpov had purposefully displaced the center of gravity rearwards to improve maneuverability, so worsening stability.

Or

Polikarpov had purposefully displaced the center of gravity rearwards to improve maneuverability, but had also worsened stability.

(3)
The first Chinese unit to be equipped with the Ishak was the IV Tatui, which had replaced their Hawk IIIs with new I-16 Type 5s in Lanchow.

For information, Tatai (also pronounced Dai-dui*) means big-team, that is Group strength. Chung-tui (or Jung-dui*) means middle-team or Squadron strength. (*in Cantonese dialect .)

(4)
From then on, China was included in the lend-lease program for the allied countries

Perhaps, can be written as:

From then, China became included in the U.S. lend-lease program.

Or

From that date on, China became a party to the U.S. lend-lease program for Allied countries.

...geoff

[Ricky]

It is fine. You could present it in a slightly different way, but that is just individual preference.

Personally I would write it:

Naturally, it was much more interesting for Polikarpov to work on the project in the perspective of a modern monoplane.

The issue is that Polikarpov had purposefully displaced the center of gravity to improve maneuverability, thus worsening stability

The first Chinese division equipped with the "Ishak" was IV tatui, who transferred from the "Hawk-III" to the new I-16s type 5 while stationed in Lanchow

From then on, China was included in the lend-lease program for the allied countries

But as I said, your way is perfectly understandable - my changes are entirely cosmetic.

[GregP]

Hi I16Stealth!

There are several ways to word your phrases more correctly, but any native English-speaking person can understand what you mean with your original wording.

The people who might NOT understand are non-native English speakers, such as yourself, and I'm not sure if the difference among the phrases suggested in this thread above make you see the meaning any differenly than before.

If so, then the change makes sense. If not, then we native English speaker understand your meaning whether you change it or not. personally, I find your English writing very understandable and very accurate. Yes, you make a few technical mistakes, but nothing I would say needs correcting. You write very clearly in English and I appreciate the effort you expend doing it.

Please continue to post and communicate with us.

[i16stealth]

To all:

Thanks for help, guys.

When the full article is posted, I will probably need you again :)